Friday, July 24, 2015


I  have always understood that relationships require work and lots of communication. Both of those things I am more than willing to do.

But most of my relationship with A. has boiled down to conundrums.

Which do I want more?

Kids or her?

Two kids without her or just one with her?

Cheaper tuition further away or her?

Vacations spent with my S.O. laying on sunny, sandy beaches, or her and non-sunny places? (Medical condition.)

Children with unique names or your one named by her?

This or that.

I know that when two people go into a relationship they both have different ideas and dreams, and to make it work you have to remove, compromise, and add things to your own dreams that you didn't imagine.

But what happens if I don't think I can give up a part of my dream? A part that she simply can't add to her dream?

I know; that was rhetorical.

I know the answer.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

French Fries and Relationship Deciding Comments

“Yeah, I decided I only want one kid,” she stated casually as she ate a French fry, sitting in Chick-fil-a. Meanwhile, across from her, I nearly choked on my food.

It was the comment combined with the casualty of the tone. As if she just stated that she would prefer pie instead of cake for her birthday.

Like, “okay, plenty of time to change the plans. I haven’t even ordered the cake yet.”

Or not.

More like I had already named our two adopted children and planned what foreign languages they would learn.

And also what musical instruments they would be required to try along with at least one sport.

“But, I had just decided I want two children...”

She shrugged.